This is an awesome response by a sister of mines to an article posted on this subject from another site. Enjoy! (by: Tisha Monique)
Well said brother. And as a 38 year old, SBF with no kids, never been married, and living in Atlanta, I go a step further to say that times are a-changing indeed and although it is “acceptable” to trade gender roles, it does not mean this is the God ordained order.
Some things are just intuitive and instinctive. And society, in the name of “tolerance” and other politically correct rhetoric, have sought to change norms that not only made sense–but are, again, simply intuitive. To balance this, I also agree with your point that for the sake of the team (family ) traditional roles do need to be flexible. But as you wisely pointed out for practical or temporary purposes. Such a switch in roles, for whatever period agreed upon, should, intuitively, promote the greater good of the team.
The Woman’s liberation movement of the 60s and 70s have BACKFIRED on women of all races. Black women are paying the highest price to the piper. We have been hoodwinked–bamboozled. Roun’ here thinking we need to prove something.
We, black women, have done an excellent job in the last two generations (those born in 70′s and 80s) of inspiring music that celebrates this backward existence between male and female these days. Once it was only women singing about our independent abilities; now brothers have been forced to acquiesce to the force of our demand to NOT need them.
Now you got Jamie Foxx, Neyo, and other cats singing songs about wanting an independent woman that don’t NEED THEM. Well I’m more on Jill Scott’s note sheet. I can…but I need you so I prefer you do it. Like you I think a dude is lazy and or weak to even fix his mouth to say he is attracted to a woman who doesn’t need him. Who doesn’t want to be needed.
See how counter intuitive that is? How lacking of common sense. It is horrifying how evil is being called good and good is being called evil all cause we are afraid to “offend” some group. Please….as you say.
Wise women of security know they can do anything a man can do–they simple DO NOT WANT TO . Okay.
Women of security have nothing to prove. Sure, if you are single, be productive–have a career, serve humanity–DO SOMETHING.
But sister if you want to marry….and a man is in your life wanting to propose, then learn how to bend and blend your identity into his. Notice I said blend; NOT lose. It is a God given gift–an art that takes actually being in a relationship to master. I’ve seen it done! Men are depositors–women are receptors. Embrace that–we are equal in essence NOT in function.
We are designed to compliment not dominate.
We silly women, have cut our noses off to spite our faces.
What do we have to show for our 30 degrees, 100K+ in student loans, a cold big house that’s not a home where we live alone, and our luxury car to show how independent we are?
Frustration wondering what happened. We did all this “proving” and excelling to make us more marketable in the marrying pool. But it’s made us less valuable.
Now our last few ovaries are emptying (LOL) and hearts are really longing to be what God intended–a nurturer, a helper, lover, friend, and partner to our husbands and family first then with them to humanity. The truth is we really do want to be taken care of. AND THERE AIN’T A THANG WRONG WITH THAT…THAT IS GOD’S ORDER.
Women have made men lazy as evidenced by these songs cats are singing today that are now indoctrinating a new generation of “would be men” that it is okay to disrespect a woman and that is okay to have a woman and children NOT depend on you. A recipe for a wimp!
And that’s what we have largely today–wimpy men who are afraid to step to a sister and say,something like, “hey, I want you. I want to take care of you. I need you to need me. This is the vision I have for my life and home–are you down with that?”
At one point in history, having a wife and a family was PROOF you were a man. Now, there is no standard. And consequently sisters are accepting anything. We are lowering our standards and values. Then three years out from the break up we somewhere at breakfast with our BFF still crying about dude whose moved on.
Or we somewhere right now a sister is still entertaining that one sided relationship that we know in our spirits IS NOT the right fit. Talking bout, “I love the man he has the potential to be….I love him for the man he ALMOST IS.”
But man always think he is smarter than God. Certain groups have been so forceful to put their lifestyle agenda upon us, we’ve blurred almost all lines of what is intuitively right and wrong.
Women today are too afraid to come out and say, Yes, I want a man who has an ability to take care of me and my family.
The problem is how can we say such when we have a pool of little boys (disguised as grown men) who we have encouraged to NOT find us attractive because we voice a desire to be taken care of. Men are trained to see us a gold diggers and what not. We need to change the narrative and this is what I hope this post will do. Help us to stop being so suspicious of each other. We need men to lead again and train other men how to be men.
For a lady of security wants to be protected, provided for, needed and adored by the man in her life. She doesn’t want to harm him or use him.
So this is my personal attempt to change the narrative in this culture. I, a lady of security, say unequivocally, I want to be taken of by a man of security. I can be and do whatever a man can…but I do not want to. I want to love and support you and together be a force in the earth for righteousness. For God’s glory and our joy!
Ladies…..start a new women’s liberation movement. The freedom to submit and find its tsunami like power!
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